Single again….how do I do this? I forgot what single was..

It has happened. I am single. No more “the boy”. If I refer to him in future posts he will be “the ex.” Some important things you may ask a newly broken up person:

1. Are you sad?

Yes and no. I was sleeping today and would wake up in a panic and cry. When I was doing things like walking with my buddy Jessie or catching up with a girl at a bar I know, I am fine. I miss texting him. I miss the phone calls. Since we were long distance, the physical being together part doesn’t hit me as hard.

2. Why did you break up?

It’s been coming for a while. This last trip together just showed me that it was officially over. Louisville, the first night, went fine. Then three night in STL did NOT. We fought like cats and dogs all three nights. It was just a light bulb of “huh, maybe this isn’t working.”

3. What does this mean for your future?

I am going to go to law school, that hasn’t changed. The two months before that I am really going to work on becoming myself again. You know, when you’re with someone and you just lose yourself in them, yeah, I feel like that happened. Now I need to find Storm, I don’t know quite where she went, but I need her back. One thing for sure is that I could not imagine a future with him for the past few months. Six months ago, yeah, I thought he would be my one and only, but 5 months ago, well, something changed.

4. He had quite a bit more money than you? Does that affect you much?

Yeah, he was pretty wealthy and I am, well, poor. I do offer this advice to anyone dating in a different economic bracket. Do NOT let yourself rely on them for bill money or anything you need. This guy, yeah, he bought me shoes, he bought me LSAT material, he bought me all the things I don’t really NEED or things I could have gotten from my grandmother (who also has a bit of money), but I always made sure I paid my own bills. I knew that I needed to be the person to support myself.

5. Do you regret it?

Aspects of our relationship, yes. Do I regret the whole thing, of course not. I love and care about this person, we’re just bad together. I won’t get into the things I like or dislike about him, but I will say this, we were a good couple for most of our time together. It was just the end that was no good.

6. Could you fix it?

No. We aren’t meant to be and honestly I don’t want to fix it this time.

7. Are you interested in dating now?

Nope. I want two months to myself and then I will be open to the idea when I am settled in Boston.

8. How is your diet going?

Not well. I am in the “eat your feeling” stage of the break up, but I plan on starting the “work out and punish your body” stage of the break up tomorrow. I want to do a morning and evening work out.

9. Do you think you will juice soon?

I can’t handle juicing and crying right now, so, no.

10. Did you actually feel your heart break?

Yes, my chest actually hurt.

11. What will make you happy right now?

Hearing from Suffolk about my financial aid, lots of hiking, ice cream, working out, and maybe a trip home to see my moms cat Freddie…he always makes me happy. I will also be hardcore cleaning my apartment.

12. Any advice for anyone?

Yeah. A few things. If the person tells MAJOR lies, break up with them despite being in love. If you feel like you should break up with the person, do it. If they break up with you and then come back to you saying they really didn’t want that, end it anyway. If your relationship causes your to have week long depression, yeah, time to end it. If your relationship reminds you more of cocaine than a fine red wine, end it! Passion is great, but you need to have some chill time. I would say in two and a half years, the ex and I only had about 20 relaxed, chilled nights and that is wrong! If you can’t just enjoy each other without distractions, that is weird and probably a red flag.

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MIRROR

I took a mirror from the hotel. It’s about 4 feet tall, 2 and a half feet wide. Thing was, I walked to work but I knew if I didn’t take it home I would forget. So I carried a gigantic mirror through downtown STL this morning.

I sent out my first e-mail to a girl asking if I could be her roommate. 🙂

I ate some veggies today and some fast food. I don’t plan on eating anything unhealthy the rest of the day or week.

My body is so sore from my work out yesterday and my mirror adventure.

I am planning a hike with my buddy Jessie for this weekend. Should be awesome.

Last night at work I had a girl shadowing my job. They want to find a replacement for me so the transition from me leaving is smooth. Funny thing happened last night. We were delivering receipts and got to this room and they were burning INCENSE! Such a STRONG smell. So, smoking is not allowed in the hotel, because of the smell. Same goes with incense. We were scared they would set off the fire alarm so we went to google “Does incense set fire alarms off.” As soon as we put in “Does incense” the google pulled up the last search of “Does incense cover the smell of weed.” The kicker of this story, the person in the room was an employee! Which means they are going to be fired! Dummy.

Should I clean? No, I’ll watch movies.

Another day, and more juices. This “morning” (I want everyone to remember my morning is 5:00 pm at night) I woke up and made breakfast juice. This juice was three kale leaves, one cucumber, and one apple. I’ve made this juice before, I like it. It is green, refreshing, not too bitter from the kale. A great begin your day juice. I get a ton of energy from the green juices I’ve been noticing. I like it.

I indulged one of my favorite addictions, Farmville. If you are a fellow addict, you understand. After I harvested, fed my animals, and sold some things, I decided to eat the last two slices of bread in my home in an egg sandwich. I officially have no bread and no intentions of buying any! I will still eat a hard-boiled egg from time to time, but no more bread.

After my last sandwich I finished a movie I started yesterday, “Something’s Gotta Give” featuring one of my all time favorite actors, Jack Nicholson.

From Wikipedia!

From Wikipedia!

Jack is Harry, who is a 63 year old self made man, is dating Ericka’s, Diane Keaton’s, daughter played by Amanda Peet. Harry only dates women below thirty. Harry and the daughter go out to Ericka’s beach house to have a romantic weekend and Ericka and her sister are there. Ericka is a self made play wright, very successful, and hates the fact older men are always after younger women, I.E. Harry. There is some silliness about finding Harry there, some jokes made at Harry’s expense, then Harry has a heart attack and has been ordered not to travel. Amanda goes back to the city where Harry is left with Ericka to fall in love with her. Add some Keanu Reeves as another love interest for Diane Keaton and you have a cute rom-com with some of my favorite actors and actresses, Reeves not included.

To me, the romance feels a touch forced. Jack and Diane don’t really have too much chemistry to me, but they are both such good actors, that when romantic things aren’t happening the film is very funny. Is a major chick flick. I give it 4 out of 5. Oh, and I would pick an old Jack Nicholson over a young Keanu any day. Jack has so much more swagger. This movie has made me want to go watch some of his classics now, like The Shining, One flew over the Cuckoo’s nest, or The Departed.

After that, I did some yoga, then 50 sit up’s while holding my 8 pound kettle bell. My hamstrings are killing me after doing a kettle bell work out yesterday. Those work outs can really wear your body out.

I read some Catch 22 while drinking some water. There was a passage I liked, I’ve decided to include about the chaplain.

So many things were testing his faith. There was the Bible, of course, but the Bible was a book, and so were Bleak House, Treasure Island, Ethan Frome, and The Last of the Mohicans. Did it indeed seem probable, as he had once overheard Dunbar ask, that the answers to the riddles of creation would be supplied by people too ignorant to understand the mechanics of rainfall? Had Almighty God, in all His infinite wisdom, really been afraid that men six thousand years ago would succeed in building a tower to heaven? Where the devil was heaven? Was it up? Down? There was no up or down in a finite but expanding universe in which even the vast, burning, dazzling, majestic sun was in a state of progressive decay that would eventually destroy the earth too.

I liked that passage. It feels so powerful to me. Sums up a lot of my own thoughts.

My second juice of the day has been made of Turnip greens, 3 whole carrots, and one orange. It is very good, but I love anything with a whole bunch of carrots in it.

Here is a link about Turnip greens:

http://ladymermaid.hubpages.com/hub/Health-Benefits-of-Turnip-Greens

And here is a link to a 25 minute yoga work out on youtube. Before you click, know that the man in the video is ridiculous, but I like his moves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0pZUjXGq8w&NR=1&feature=endscreen