Single again….how do I do this? I forgot what single was..

It has happened. I am single. No more “the boy”. If I refer to him in future posts he will be “the ex.” Some important things you may ask a newly broken up person:

1. Are you sad?

Yes and no. I was sleeping today and would wake up in a panic and cry. When I was doing things like walking with my buddy Jessie or catching up with a girl at a bar I know, I am fine. I miss texting him. I miss the phone calls. Since we were long distance, the physical being together part doesn’t hit me as hard.

2. Why did you break up?

It’s been coming for a while. This last trip together just showed me that it was officially over. Louisville, the first night, went fine. Then three night in STL did NOT. We fought like cats and dogs all three nights. It was just a light bulb of “huh, maybe this isn’t working.”

3. What does this mean for your future?

I am going to go to law school, that hasn’t changed. The two months before that I am really going to work on becoming myself again. You know, when you’re with someone and you just lose yourself in them, yeah, I feel like that happened. Now I need to find Storm, I don’t know quite where she went, but I need her back. One thing for sure is that I could not imagine a future with him for the past few months. Six months ago, yeah, I thought he would be my one and only, but 5 months ago, well, something changed.

4. He had quite a bit more money than you? Does that affect you much?

Yeah, he was pretty wealthy and I am, well, poor. I do offer this advice to anyone dating in a different economic bracket. Do NOT let yourself rely on them for bill money or anything you need. This guy, yeah, he bought me shoes, he bought me LSAT material, he bought me all the things I don’t really NEED or things I could have gotten from my grandmother (who also has a bit of money), but I always made sure I paid my own bills. I knew that I needed to be the person to support myself.

5. Do you regret it?

Aspects of our relationship, yes. Do I regret the whole thing, of course not. I love and care about this person, we’re just bad together. I won’t get into the things I like or dislike about him, but I will say this, we were a good couple for most of our time together. It was just the end that was no good.

6. Could you fix it?

No. We aren’t meant to be and honestly I don’t want to fix it this time.

7. Are you interested in dating now?

Nope. I want two months to myself and then I will be open to the idea when I am settled in Boston.

8. How is your diet going?

Not well. I am in the “eat your feeling” stage of the break up, but I plan on starting the “work out and punish your body” stage of the break up tomorrow. I want to do a morning and evening work out.

9. Do you think you will juice soon?

I can’t handle juicing and crying right now, so, no.

10. Did you actually feel your heart break?

Yes, my chest actually hurt.

11. What will make you happy right now?

Hearing from Suffolk about my financial aid, lots of hiking, ice cream, working out, and maybe a trip home to see my moms cat Freddie…he always makes me happy. I will also be hardcore cleaning my apartment.

12. Any advice for anyone?

Yeah. A few things. If the person tells MAJOR lies, break up with them despite being in love. If you feel like you should break up with the person, do it. If they break up with you and then come back to you saying they really didn’t want that, end it anyway. If your relationship causes your to have week long depression, yeah, time to end it. If your relationship reminds you more of cocaine than a fine red wine, end it! Passion is great, but you need to have some chill time. I would say in two and a half years, the ex and I only had about 20 relaxed, chilled nights and that is wrong! If you can’t just enjoy each other without distractions, that is weird and probably a red flag.

Advertisements