Single again….how do I do this? I forgot what single was..

It has happened. I am single. No more “the boy”. If I refer to him in future posts he will be “the ex.” Some important things you may ask a newly broken up person:

1. Are you sad?

Yes and no. I was sleeping today and would wake up in a panic and cry. When I was doing things like walking with my buddy Jessie or catching up with a girl at a bar I know, I am fine. I miss texting him. I miss the phone calls. Since we were long distance, the physical being together part doesn’t hit me as hard.

2. Why did you break up?

It’s been coming for a while. This last trip together just showed me that it was officially over. Louisville, the first night, went fine. Then three night in STL did NOT. We fought like cats and dogs all three nights. It was just a light bulb of “huh, maybe this isn’t working.”

3. What does this mean for your future?

I am going to go to law school, that hasn’t changed. The two months before that I am really going to work on becoming myself again. You know, when you’re with someone and you just lose yourself in them, yeah, I feel like that happened. Now I need to find Storm, I don’t know quite where she went, but I need her back. One thing for sure is that I could not imagine a future with him for the past few months. Six months ago, yeah, I thought he would be my one and only, but 5 months ago, well, something changed.

4. He had quite a bit more money than you? Does that affect you much?

Yeah, he was pretty wealthy and I am, well, poor. I do offer this advice to anyone dating in a different economic bracket. Do NOT let yourself rely on them for bill money or anything you need. This guy, yeah, he bought me shoes, he bought me LSAT material, he bought me all the things I don’t really NEED or things I could have gotten from my grandmother (who also has a bit of money), but I always made sure I paid my own bills. I knew that I needed to be the person to support myself.

5. Do you regret it?

Aspects of our relationship, yes. Do I regret the whole thing, of course not. I love and care about this person, we’re just bad together. I won’t get into the things I like or dislike about him, but I will say this, we were a good couple for most of our time together. It was just the end that was no good.

6. Could you fix it?

No. We aren’t meant to be and honestly I don’t want to fix it this time.

7. Are you interested in dating now?

Nope. I want two months to myself and then I will be open to the idea when I am settled in Boston.

8. How is your diet going?

Not well. I am in the “eat your feeling” stage of the break up, but I plan on starting the “work out and punish your body” stage of the break up tomorrow. I want to do a morning and evening work out.

9. Do you think you will juice soon?

I can’t handle juicing and crying right now, so, no.

10. Did you actually feel your heart break?

Yes, my chest actually hurt.

11. What will make you happy right now?

Hearing from Suffolk about my financial aid, lots of hiking, ice cream, working out, and maybe a trip home to see my moms cat Freddie…he always makes me happy. I will also be hardcore cleaning my apartment.

12. Any advice for anyone?

Yeah. A few things. If the person tells MAJOR lies, break up with them despite being in love. If you feel like you should break up with the person, do it. If they break up with you and then come back to you saying they really didn’t want that, end it anyway. If your relationship causes your to have week long depression, yeah, time to end it. If your relationship reminds you more of cocaine than a fine red wine, end it! Passion is great, but you need to have some chill time. I would say in two and a half years, the ex and I only had about 20 relaxed, chilled nights and that is wrong! If you can’t just enjoy each other without distractions, that is weird and probably a red flag.

Excitement for Hiking, Biking, and Walking

This is just a quick little update before I head into work for the night.

I have decided that one my weeks off from work I want to try and get at least 15-20 hours of walking, biking, or hiking. I am very excited because for Monday I have an hike planned. I don’t know how many hours the hike will be, it is an 8.5 mile hike, so I will let you know the time when I get back. After the hike I plan on visiting my parents and doing some much needed laundry.

I will also work on planning a very long biking trip, of course first I have to get a bike. More details on this one later.

This is my new plan, juice while working, eat and extreme hike/bike in my off days. 🙂

Wish me luck on my first outdoor adventure fun time. If you have any tips, let me know.

Stormy in St. Louis

St. Louis is about to get hit with some SEVERE thunderstorms. It hit once already and lifted just long enough for me to drive home and not get wet, so that was lucky.

Did not juice at all yesterday. Ate horribly too. Started the day with a big salad, like I mentioned. At work ate the rest of a calzone that was delivered to work as a freebie from “Sauce on the Side”. If you are ever in STL, I would check them out. So very yummy! So, half of this Calzone was left. Ate half of the half for lunch, then the other quarter for dinner. Not healthy, but at least I split it up.

I have also been very emotional lately, which sucks, been doubting my relationship, which I won’t go into, and in general am just anxious about my future. I think if I get some good sleep in and clean my apartment in a therapeutic sort of way, I will feel better, but since I drank a soda, I am now artificially wide awake and that sucks. If I was juicing I would be tired right now and enjoying a nice sleep through a big storm. It is actually better I don’t sleep though, just in case of a tornado. The last to hit the Downtown area was in 1959 BUT we have had one hit just recently in Hazelwood, right outside of the city, and last year one hit the airport, about a half an hour away from the city, so it’s been some close calls. The STL is the most tornado affected urban area in the United States. I would hate to go to sleep just to wake up dead from a tornado.

Ending the juice fast

I have pretty much given up on my juice fast and have regressed to the eat one healthy meal, juice two. This works for me. I still lose weight, but I still get to eat a meal. I like it. My meal today was a BIG salad full of great healthy things like romaine, broccoli, carrots, and cucumber. Thing I love about veggies, eat as many as you want, fill yourself up, and you’re still eating the right thing!

Last night, not so good though. Before work I had a bean burger with cucumber slices and broccoli on the side, not too bad. I had a sugar craving like nobody’s business though last night. Probably because I am starting that time of the month, but man, I ate a few pieces of candy I stole out of guests welcome bags and I had a cinnamon raison bagel with peanut butter on top. If I would have had a dollar, I would have bought a straight up Hershey’s chocolate bar. I had it in my head, if ANYONE tips me, that is a sign from the universe that I should eat the candy bar. This guy checks in, who has tipped EVERY time he’s checked in, so in my mind I was thinking, “Oooooooo, I am getting a candy bar.” At the end of the transaction he walks away, no tip. It’s like the universe not only said no, but bitch slapped me for stealing candy. Well played universe.

I had two juices ready to go last night, but that bagel filled me up so much that I wasn’t able to drink them, so I have them for tonight. Yay.

So, nothing else to report really. I will carry on with eating fruits and veggies, try to avoid sweets even though sometimes the craving just get so bad I will probably buy a Hershey’s Cookie and Cream candy bar (My new favorite).

What was in the trashcan?

Phew, I just woke up from a very deep sleep. It was a good sleep though. STL has had some rain and storms and that always makes me sleep well. I had a dream that I was at a cigar bar, called “Bob’s burger’s and meats” and they also supplied the burgers to my favorite bar in STL Syberg’s, and the “cigar artist” was really hot and I wasn’t smoking a cigar but practicing making one. Then these three old women sit down and they’re talking about how they may be old but they still love to live and they’re now children of leisure. The cigar bar guy, I think is asking me for my number but is in fact asking me if I knew the girls across the bar, and they were two girls I went to high school with. Well they came over, and the cigar man ends up giving us tests back like we were all still in a class together. I had only gotten a 4%, this other girl got 100%, and I was so embarrassed because I wanted to go on a date with him.

Anyway….

Juicing! I messed up yesterday. I had the first two juices but then this guest came in, really awesome old man with amazing stories, ordered pizza and cheese sticks and INSISTED, would not stop offering, me and Cameron a slice. I finally broke down, after saying no about 7 times, had a slice and one cheese stick. It was sooooo good too. I weighed myself afterwards, still lost 2 pounds, but dang, messed up. I did want to binge eat after that one slice on muffins that we serve for breakfast, but I did not.  I stand by the fact that when I am off a juice fast NO ONE offers me food, when I am on one, EVERYONE offers me food. Yesterday it was two Doubletree cookies from my friend who works down the street, last night it was pizza. I mean, COME ON!

Anyway, my juices.

Juice One: Kale and apple. I just needed a quick small juice before work. It was good.

Juice Two: Spinach, little broccoli, parsley, celery, kale, romaine, an apple, and some coconut water. Call it a green blast since I use so many green ingredients.

The funny thing that happened last night is Cameron found a pornography magazine in the trash can in the lobby. It’s funny for two reasons: 1. We didn’t expect it to be there and naked people are funny. 2. Who still buys pornography magazines? Haven’t they discovered the internet yet?

The rest of the night was really uneventful. I read a lot of World War Z and am almost done with it. SUCH a good zombie novel. Read it if you haven’t and you love the zombie genre.

 

Sad Day For Boston

My deepest sympathy goes out to all those affected by the Boston Marathon Bombing. I hope they catch and then lethally inject whatever evil individual caused this. Very sad.

Also, my mom is now officially freaking out about me going to school there. I am trying to explain to her things like this can happen anywhere, but you know moms. I have been to Copley Square before, and it is such a beautiful area, I can’t believe something so tragic has taken place there.

On to juicing.

I finished my Day 2 of 7. Today was hard though, hunger craving hit and I just wanted so bad to go into my favorite local bar and get a veggie burger or a buffalo chicken salad. I remained strong though!

My first juice yesterday was 3 kale leaves, handful of grapes, and a couple carrots. It was very yummy.

My second juice was spinach, a splash of coconut water, three small broccoli pieces, and an apple.

My third juice was spinach, a splash of coconut water, two carrots, and an apple.

I also have been drinking a ton of water.

Work last night was incredibly slow, which is funny because today had less check in’s than yesterday, so tonight’s shift should be slower, which means I will see NO ONE. I am fine with that. I just need to find something good on Netflix for tonight. Maybe I will start watching Mad Men. Everyone tells me I need to see that show.

I did weigh myself to see where I was starting weight wise, I am at 211 now, I was down to 208, but I ate so much in Southern California and when I got back I am really not surprise I went up. Now I don’t plan on weighing in till after the juice fast is done.

 

Hannibal the Cannibal!

First day of juicing down. Yay! I am not nearly as hungry as I was the last time I started juicing. Probably because my juices focus on veggie’s way more now. I think those fill you up and give you more energy, while the fruit based ones give you sugar highs.

Here is a breakdown of my juices.

Juice 1: 2 kale leaves, 1 orange, and 1 small cucumber. This juice was so energizing. I drank it at 9:30 PM and had great energy til 1:30 AM and my next juice. It also tasted very yummy.

Juice 2: 1 kale leaf, 2 cups spinach, 1 apple,  3 carrots, broccoli and 1 whole celery stalk. Juice was good considering I hate celery juice! I barely tasted it though. Again, energizing, filling, lasted til my last juice at 6:15 AM.

Juice 3: 1 cup spinach, 3 carrots, 1 whole celery stalk, broccoli and an orange.  Tasted good, I was walking home and finishing it. That was nice. I love walking home to decompress at the end of a hard shift, which last night was. About midway through the shift I wished I had started juicing on Sunday so I could be stress eating. But I stood strong.

Last night wouldn’t have been bad except all these drunk tearing up the lobby and one group on the 8th floor who were part of a frat and assholes. I almost kicked a room of them out. Three noise complaints on them, three! They had the gall to say “It wasn’t us.” Then the whole “I wasn’t even in my room! It was someone else.” Listen buddy, you are responsible for anyone you let in your room. I can’t help you have bad taste in friends. Ack, I didn’t kick them out though, because that would have resulted in an issue with the whole frat and they had 17 rooms, I honestly did not want to deal with that. I used this threat “Okay, you can stay, but one complaint, on ANY of the rooms, the whole Frat is leaving.” They agreed and settled down. Well, settle is relative, they all came downstairs and were really loud.

I never understood Frat and Sororities anyway. To me it seems like it is saying, If you pay your dues you will have friends. Oh yeah, and we’re going to judge you, maybe abuse you before we let you join.

Then there was another group of drunkies that were there for a bridal shower. One of them took a bag of popcorn and just flung it EVERYWHERE! Dicks.

There were some drunkie’s that really just sat in one spot and drank beer for at least 8 hours, maybe more. They were down there when my security guard Cameron arrived at 7 PM and went to bed at 3 AM. They were fine except they left a mess. Bitches.

That was work. I had to yell at some college kids and clean for a couple hours.

I want to tell you guys about my TV habits, what I like and a brand new show I love.

I watch a lot of comedies, The Office, The Mindy Show, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, and Bob’s Burgers. I also love Law and Order: SVU. I don’t know why I do, I just do. Some of my favorite drama’s are Breaking Bad, Weeds, The Tudors, Once Upon a Time, Lost, and The United States of Tara.

The new show that I am absolutely in love with is Hannibal on NBC. They really have hit it out of the park with this show. I mean, the writing is great, it is shot very well, the characters are interesting, I can’t wait to see more.

The basic plot is Hannibal Lector is helping Will Grant with his mental state while Will is solving psychopathic murders. Will has Asperger’s, I think, it may be autism, and such a vivid imagination he can actually picture the crime as it took place and it has a pretty deep effect on his psyche. That’s where Lector comes in, providing some psychiatric treatment to Will.   It does take place in present day, so there are Ipads and modern crime solving technology. Hannibal is actually played by an old Bond villain, and he is awesome, Mads Mikkelsen. Will Grant is skillfully played by Hugh Dancy. Also, the way it is shot kind of reminds me of CSI, but a much darker CSI.  I would check it out if you like dark thrillers. Be warned, much blood and gore.

 

Back In the STL.

I am back from Southern California and I miss the warm weather already. I did have SO much fun, even though I ate everything in the world.

The first day we actually drove from LA to Newport Beach, which is a long drive. I also discovered everyone in California can’t seem to drive well. Anyway, made it to Newport, stayed in a place called Little In On the Bay, which is a kooky hotel, great location. Had a great time going to get Sushi at Zen Sushi. The Strawberry Sake is SO good, as was the sushi especially a roll called “Salmon Lover”. Yum.

We would have stayed out later but I went from my job, which goes from 10 PM-7AM to the airport. I slept on the plane, but plane sleep is never refreshing.  By the time Sushi was over I had not been in a bed for 26 hours. So, we went to bed and got a good night’s sleep.

The next day I had Mcdonald’s for breakfast, terrible but there was one super close and the boy had meetings to go to. He dropped me off at Fashion Island, a huge outdoor shopping mall. Unfortunately he dropped me off at 9, everything opened at 10. So I walked around a while, enjoyed the sunshine, window shopped. Then the stores opened and I bought a purse and a bracelet. I couldn’t buy anything too substantial because when I travel I only do carry-on (I am not paying for luggage! I refuse!) and those carry

Sitting at work

I am at work right now. It’s a slow night, which is nice since the past two days have involved people yelling at me for things I couldn’t control.

I have been yelled at about when the hotels breakfast started because this woman was told 6. I had to be the one to say, breakfast starts at 7 on weekends (it also says that inside your key packet if you could read, but I only thought that part). “Well, I was told 6.” “We do have our cold food out, pastries, cereal, fruit, yogurt, bagels, toast.” “This just mean we don’t get any breakfast.” (Uh, I just listed a whole bunch of stuff. I highly doubt you are making a whole breakfast of eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy everyday, you probably only eat cereal at home. Again, only thought.) “I’m sorry the hot food is not ready for you.” “This is ridiculous.” …

Another thing people may not know about, hotels oversell themselves betting on the fact some people will not show up. It is an evil practice, it’s kind of like when a airplane oversells a flight. Basically, we bet some people don’t show up so we double book a room. Sometimes our call center goes overboard like it did this weekend and oversold us 10 rooms on a weekend when there wasn’t a room left in the city. That means, 10 people did not have rooms. This is good time to also mention, if you are traveling, do your best to plan on being at the hotel to check in before 8 PM after 3 PM. That way you know rooms are clean and there are still some to sell. If you try showing up before 3 PM, there may not be a clean room for you. I am pretty sure some people think hotels have unlimited amounts of rooms OR they think there are people here cleaning rooms ALL THE TIME. There aren’t. Hotels are like any other business, they employ the least amount of employee’s as they can to make the most profit. That, and I do not work at a luxury hotel. People confuse cheap hotels and luxury hotels. Our hotel is about 100 dollars a night, which is steep but we are in the downtown area of a city. Another thing to consider, the closer you are to the downtown of the city, they higher the rate. Now, a luxury hotel in our location would be around 200-300 dollars a night depending on what time of year you are traveling or if you are receiving any discount packages. Anyway, back to overselling.

We were oversold. They fixed a lot of the problem before I got in to work, which I have to give my props to my coworkers and manager. I was oversold by two, which meant two people who walked in the door I had to say, sorry, I don’t have a room for you tonight, you have to drive about a half an hour west of us. I was extremely lucky though, two rooms open up at a luxury hotel just down the street from us in our same brand. Then, though, he had to sell one, which means, okay, one person I send away, one person I send down the street. Alright, I can handle that. THEN both rooms show up, they are together, have to be in the same hotel. OKAY! So, I tell them the deal with a touch of a lie. I say 2 of our rooms had to be taken out of order due to a bathtub overflowing. Then, I send them down to our Westport location, which is a good hotel. Recently renovated, in a great area, just not downtown. They were a multi-night stay though, so, they would move back the next day to go to an expo downtown and we would comp a night here. Usually by this point the guest is screaming at me going “I BOOKED THESE ROOMS IN ADVANCE AND YOU HAVE TO HAVE A ROOM FOR ME.” Not these guys. These two guys were the coolest, most laid back travelers in the world. Really understanding, super nice, and I absolutely love guests like that. Very cool.

So, they didn’t yell at me. No. Room 204 yelled at me. A LOT. We have this room, room 204, which is by far the shittiest room in the hotel on the weekends because it is directly over the bar which has a very loud karaoke night on the weekends. These guests had to run a marathon the next day, why anyone would assign marathon runners is beyond me, my guess is the day shift does not think ahead to night shift. If I had to use 204, because I would avoid it as much as I could, I would only put sports fans, or concert goers, or Expedia/Travelocity guests in that room because these kind of guests either stay out late or don’t get internal surveys.

204 calls down. Is angry. I don’t really have anywhere to move her to, we are sold out. I could move her to a room reserved for another guest, a double bed suite, I don’t really want to because it is only 12:30 and the reserved room may show up. I do think that would be my only option though. 204 wouldn’t stop asking to talk to a manager. I don’t have a manager at night. She tells me to call him. I try not to, but she is SUPER adamant. I know my manager, we’ll call him Chris, won’t say anything different than I am saying. She has me do it anyway. Chris is pissed I called, I try explaining to him that she won’t take anything besides speaking to him. He tells me options to give them, the same ones, I call back with the same options. AGAIN she says, “LET ME SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!!! THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS” So, I tell Chris what she says, he finally agrees to talk to her except she lets him talk to her calm manager. Chris doesn’t even have to speak to her.

He offers up the suite, which if my suite reservation shows up I would be put in a bad position, but whatever. Get this, she refuses to move! She does not want to move, the only thing she wants is the music to be turned off, which we can not do because the bar is a separate business. Now, I empathize, 204 is a terrible room, she is running a marathon in the morning, I feel bad for her, but she turned unreasonable! She even called the bar and the bar said “We can’t turn the music off.” We comped her night, but I just didn’t understand the not moving to get sleep. We even said, you can leave your stuff in 204 and just sleep in the suite, you don’t even have to officially pack up and move. Nope, she was having none of it. So, on one hand I feel bad for her, on the other, as an experienced traveler I know that you have to be prepared to roll with the punches. In the end, I hated her because she yelled a me so much and I was trying to fix the situation, but, I still felt kind of bad for her….

That was my awesome weekend at work. Makes you want to work in a hotel right? It evens out with being able to do things like type this entire blog while getting paid.

Nutrition, not good. I failed. I was so stressed I went immediately after work to 7-11 to buy hot pockets and candy. I can classify myself as a stress eater for sure. I will be doing a 10 day juice fast starting April 13th though! I expect to lose quite a bit.

I have a ton of errands tomorrow. I have to go pick up birth control, return a dress to Macy’s, and pack for L.A. Packing will be the roughest part of the day. I plan to bring A LOT and have to fit it into 1 carry on roller bag and 1 back pack.

I am excited for California. I’ve only been once and it was not the best trip in the world. I plan on making this trip so super fun.

Here are some pictures I’ve taken recently. A little visual update.

This is me with a thinner face. Can see the weight coming off.

This is me with a thinner face. Can see the weight coming off.

 

A path I was walking on.

A path I was walking on.

 

Saw this broken tree on my walk.

Saw this broken tree on my walk.

 

Walking by the Art Museum in Forest Park

Walking by the Art Museum in Forest Park

 

 

 

Juice like you mean it!!!!

Last night was the first night back at work and it went pretty well. Kind of a quiet night for a Friday.

Nutrition yesterday was a lot better than I had been doing (the day before I had four hot pockets. Shocking to think I used to eat like that everyday!) After a relapse into unhealthy, but yummy, world, I am back with my juice and healthy meals.

Before work I had an orange. Simple, just an orange.

I had two juices at work that were made of the same stuff. The recipe was 3 whole carrots, parsley, about a cup of spinach, and an orange in each. Great energizing drink. Went down pretty easy.

I also had a banana and some peanut butter. I am also guilty of snagging a couple bite-sized candy. Not much though. I don’t feel like that is too shabby though, since I was doing so poorly the day before. I am also finishing up my 2nd liter of water.

My goal is to do small meals and juicing until I leave for LA on Tuesday. I will eat what I feel like in LA since it would be a shame to be on a juice fast while in such a great place for food. Then I will start another juice fast on April 13th, hopefully a 10 day one. I ended one recently at the 5 day mark, so I am hoping to do better this time.

I am still at 210 lbs. I was at 208 but after my slip-up gained 2 pounds back.